BELOVED HERRING
By Eamon Henry. 3 March 2009

Introduction: This piece of Irish-language verse comprises number 81 in the 1974 anthology EIGSE, compiled by Breandan O Conaire, with publishers Mac Goill agus Macmillan.
The title of the piece is “Mo-chean do theacht, a scadain”, and its author is unknown. The translation into English is my own.
It can be dated to within the 17th century. From its content-matter, its author was probably a student for the priesthood at some Irish College abroad, such as Louvain or Bordeaux. It comprises a mock-serious poem of praise of a salted herring which the author is about to eat, this being the Lenten season. The herring is addressed as a noble young human, whose friendship is highly valued by the poet. No more need be said by way of description here. The translation follows, and renders meaning and sense rather than a tight literal version.

Beloved Herring:
Beloved herring, come at last, draw near, you noble youth. Good health to you a hundred times, you’re welcome here, in truth! Though salmon of the Boyne be good, for you this ode I pen To sing your praise, on oath I swear, upon my soul! Amen!
Oh you of faultless body smooth, sincere your friendship bond!A friend like you I never had, may my response be fond. Did Ireland’s nobles judge your worth, among three kinds of fish, O’er pike and salmon you’d be king, and reign upon a dish!
For Conan of old story lore, among the coastland ground From here to Greece a better fish than herring never found. Oh merry gentle herring friend, of Lent the patron saint, Son of my friend who came last year, your absence left me faint!Though many of your family did last year reach my plate, As clergy’s friend you must forbear to seek revenge or hate!
Oh herring, merry salted one, always of cheerful mien, Your coming gives me purest joy, I love this happy scene! From start of penitential Lent ‘til Easter dawn be here I drink your health in water plain and thank you for good cheer.

I want to be like Mommy

Submitted by: Eamon Henry

Why Parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in:...Submitted by a 5 year old girl for a homework assignment ...sheer class!!

After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note:

Dear Ms. Davis,
I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint.
I work at B&Q and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm.
This photo is of me selling a shovel.
Mrs. Harrington